Archive for the ‘Uncle Chet’ Category

Uncle Chet Goes Huntin’

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

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Now Uncle Chet’s no Financial Advisor, but he likes to think he knows a thing or two about investing. “Discount” would be Chet’s middle name (if his middle name wasn’t already Billy-Bodean). Last weekend, Chet saw an Ad in Trigger Weekly that he couldn’t resist. It turns out the local Gander Mountain was having a blowout sale on the “Varmint Hunter” optical crossbow fixture—Only $19.99! He couldn’t believe his eyes. Chet couldn’t pass up such a deal, so on Saturday morning, we waited in the parking lot for the doors to open at 9am and fought the stampede to the hunting department. After avoiding a scuffle with a gentleman twice his size, tripping over a rack of camoflague, and nearly being impaled by a misplaced fishing pole, Chet managed to acquire the last remaining Varmint Hunter Optical Crossbow Scope on the shelves!

Fast forward to Saturday morning, Chet and his trusty dog Jed made their way out to the backwoods to hunt stray panthers and perhaps squirrels if panthers were too difficult to locate. After only 15 minutes of waiting, Jed spotted a crow and Chet lined up for the shot. Squirrels and panthers could wait. The Varmint Hunter could not. Chet released the first arrow and missed. He tried again…miss. On his third try, the Varmint Hunter cracked, snapped, and fell off the cross bow. Chet headed home disappointed and without a single worthy catch. The Varmint Hunter was a flop.

When it comes to cheap disposable deals, Chet knows best. When it comes to doing it right the first time, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet: Designer to the Bars

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

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Uncle Chet is well aware that when ZZ Top wrote “Every Girl’s Crazy for a Sharp Dressed Man” they were talking about him. A self-proclaimed fashionisto, Chet can tell the difference between a BugleBoy and Osh Kosh B’Gosh stonewash denim without flipping a tag. He loves to give advice on texture/pattern do’s and don’ts such as: DO wear your hunting cap as an accessory to your lumberjack flannel. DON’T sport a t-shirt with more than 3 Looney-Tunes on it unless the characters are Wile E. Coyote, Sylvester, and Marvin the Marshin. (Which we all know is a combination that does not exist.) Uncle Chet is a regular mustache-clad Ralph Lauren with a comb-over.

Keylex also appreciates dressing the part, but you won’t find us donning anything with an Elmer Fudd screen-print. We stay on top of recent trends to ensure that your site is current and sends the right message the the right audience.

When it comes to matching tube socks with a tank top, Chet knows best. When it comes to pairing strategy with seamless execution, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet’s Moped

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

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Uncle Chet’s got a soft spot for his Honda PA50 Moped. You can find him mud-jumping in his back yard or cruising the neighborhood in his leather biker jacket and fighter pilot cap—the plastic license plate reading: “MoPeds-MoFun.” Chet never really got into Harley Davidsons. He likes to think of himself as…unique.

At Keylex we like our work to be unique too, but not the “Moped” kind of unique. When you’re trying to stand out among the competition, it’s important to stand out in all the right ways…not by wearing a hat & goggle combination and driving an old scooter.

When it comes to clearing sweet jumps on the ‘Ped, Chet knows best. When it comes to jumping ahead of your competition, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet’s Family Reunion

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

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Nobody does Family Reunions quite like Chet, but this year’s story takes the cake. Uncle Chet showed up to the Eddyville Rec Center for his family reunion around 1:30pm. By 1:47 he managed to devour half of the mini crustless, triangle tuna sandwiches and make half of the wet-bar vanish in thin air. By 2:01 Chet was busting a move on the dance floor……..solo…….to no music at all. By 2:19 he was joined by nearly the entire family in what appeared to be a combination of The Carlton and the Hava Nagila dance. By 2:20 Chet realized that he was at someone else’s family reunion.

If Uncle Chet had made it to his family event he would have been surrounded by 100 Chets or more. He would have never stood out enough to make a difference and make the party a success!

When it comes to standing out like a soar thumb while leading the conga line, Chet knows best. When it comes to standing out among your competition and being a leader in your industry, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet: Pac-Man MVP

Monday, March 16th, 2009

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Uncle Chet dominates at Pac-Man. He’s a regular ghost-glutton on the joystick. In fact, he once tore the left toggle right off of the arcade console during a heated match. Chet’s a legend in bowling joints and dive bars across tornado alley. Billy Mitchell Loses to Chet "The Blunderguff" ChesleyRumor has it, he once made world record-holder Billy Mitchell cry after a high-scoring blowout.

While Uncle Chet may seem like the wave of the future to his pac-fans, he really just likes to play it safe. What he doesn’t want anyone to know is that he rules at Pac-Man because it’s the only game he knows. XBox and Nintendo Wii are foreign and frightening to Chet.

At Keylex, we know the future is now. (We stopped playing Pac-Mac competitively, back in ’86….which was right about the time we got rid of our long hair and mustaches)

When it comes to pellet pounding, ghost-gobbling hobbies of yesteryear, Chet knows best. When it comes to designing sites that will stand the test of time and devour the competition, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet’s ’87 Camaro

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

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Chet loves his 1987 Chevy Camaro 3rd Generation 5.0 IROC-Z. On cool summer nights he can be found cruising the open road, rocking out to “Dude looks like a Lady” and “Another One Bites the Dust” on repeat with the t-tops off and the treble cranked all the way up. Chet’s been known to claim that he once raced a freight train on along-side interstate 80 and won by a landslide. A likely story, indeed.

Just like Uncle Chet, some of the greatest things we do are things you will never see. We guess you’ll just have to take our word for it.

When it comes to supercharging your ‘maro, Chet knows best. When it comes to beefing up your website’s security, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet: Dancing Machine

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

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Nobody denies that Uncle Chet can cut a mean rug. He knows the electric slide, the macarena, the chicken dance, and the running-man. He even loves to brag about almost making it on to an episode of Soul Train as a backup dancer in the 80’s. Wherever Chet goes, if they’re playing Michael Jackson, he’s moon-walking. Everyone who knows (or knows of) Uncle Chet expects a performance if the music is playing.

Much like Uncle Chet, your brand owes the audience a certain level of performance and consistency. If your company sells dancing machines, they have to dance—all the time. Your brand should never have two left feet.

At Keylex, we never step on another brand’s toes. In fact, we don’t even dance, nor do we try to. We leave that to Chet. When it comes to the robot, Chet knows best. When it comes to online branding, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet Wines & Dines

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

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Uncle Chet knows a thing or two about alcohol, and not the rubbing variety mind you. He gives impromptu lessons to his friends on how to make custom concoctions and mystical brews. Chet’s friends think he’s the greatest thing since the cork screw. But while Chet may know how to make a JagerBomb, he doesn’t know his confines. Let’s just say, Chet “Pushes the Limits” of his intake. The man has no governor.

Like Chet, Keylex Pushes the Limits too. But you won’t find us dancing on the piano at McGuire’s singing smash hits by Bon Jovi and Leonard Skynard. While our creative approach may be intoxicating, we know when to say no, while some of our competitors have succumbed to Uncle Chet’s peer pressure by letting him mix the drinks.

When it comes to whipping up a Metallicarita, Chet knows best. When it comes to developing a website that’s undeniably addicting, Keylex knows best.

Uncle Chet’s Diagnosis

Sunday, February 15th, 2009

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When someone we know is sick they visit the doctor. When the pipes are backing up and Dráno just isn’t doing the trick, we call the plumber. Sometimes it just pays to do have a professional do it the right way, the first time, instead of trying to take a project head on and venture into uncharted territory. Not Uncle Chet. His middle name is…Uncharted Territory.
He’s got a thousand ways to avoid a trip to the doctor including a few home remedies he picked up while surfing Google for the keyword “Hangover.”

Web design is similar to medicine in its complexity. Many of us appreciate it; Few of us fully understand it (no matter how much we read WebMD or use PaintShop) This is why we don’t question our prescriptions, choose them buffet-style or give advice to the professional. We work with the doctor by describing our issues and trusting their educated advice. After all, would you have Chet diagnose a sharp pain in your abdomin?

At Keylex our Creative Directors are trained to differentiate one business from another through design and clever branding. Their career is based on staying tuned-in to market trends, media, and literature relevant to their craft as well as a background of intensive education in art history, advertising, and design.

When it comes to curing a severe case of Post Ethonoal Induced Coryza, Chet knows best. When it comes to curing your consumers of Market Clutter Induced Nausea, Keylex knows best.

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Uncle Chet Get’s Pumped Up

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

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Uncle Chet likes to think of himself as a man’s man—an all American patriot with a heart of gold and an iron fist. He benches 150lbs, squats 175, and can do a ton of push-ups on command. He’s a hero amongst his fellow gym rats and has memorized every Arnold Schwarzenegger line from Pumping Iron. Chet’s buddies think he’s the real deal. They ask him for advice on protein shakes and lifting techniques.

Unfortunately, Chet threw his back out doing dumbbell curls last weekend and still hasn’t recovered. He blames it on the gym’s poor quality free-weights. We however, know that the cause of Uncle Chet’s injury was his inexperience and lack of knowledge. Sure, he lifts weights and knows some terminology, but he’s no Personal Trainer. Chet’s friends decided to seek the help of a professional after discovering his herniated disc.

When it comes to Pumping Iron, Chet knows best. When it come to pumping up your ecommerce sales, Keylex knows best.